Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Those About To Rock... In Their Underwear

Just a few blog posts ago I was boosting about my maturity. No, no, the siren call of video games doesn't affect me any longer, for I have become a responsible adult! I was so bold, so self-assured, so proud of my newfound responsibility, so of course it wouldn't last. My friends, if there is another sudden disappearance from this blog, weeks and weeks of nothing new appearing in the many shades of green text you find here, you can blame Guitar Hero II.

Yes, I know, I thought I wouldn't be able to follow the plot either, what without my having played the first Guitar Hero, but I've managed to find some sites on the internet that have explained the idiosyncrasies of the story to me. And, thanks to my keen deductive mind, I've been able to follow the labyrinth of twists and turns with a fumbling, but modest success. What? You're not a fan yet? You don't know about Guitar Hero II?

It boils down to this... you strap on a cheesy, plastic guitar-shaped controller that has buttons on the neck and a weird switch/bar thing you can flick in its center. By pressing the keys and strumming in time to the music you're instantly transformed from a mild-mannered, non-profit office drone into a God of Rock. Or, at least, that's how it works for me. You might have different results, especially if you resist the urge to play in your underwear.

So, Guitar Hero has become my new “thing.“ It's become my hobby, my obsession, nearly become religion for me. Chunk? He loves it too. He doesn't really get that you have to press the buttons and strum at the same time, but he sure likes trying to play it, even if his attempts result in odd noises from his virtual guitar and his little computer-generated rocker gets booed off stage. What else does he like? He likes dancing along to the music while I play, which is kind of neat, as I get to indulge in my new obsession and then claim we were actually having some father-and-son time. I didn't know you needed dancers when you were performing old Motley Crue and Primus songs... again... in your underwear... but it seems to work in the Denver household.

The only bad thing I've discovered since mixing Guitar Hero II and parenting is that while it's a lot of fun, many of the songs are completely inappropriate for a two year old to know by heart and sing along to in public places. There's one particular song called “Possum Kingdom“ by the Toadies which, while not having any foul language or anything, seems to be sung from the perspective of a serial killer “seducing“ his next victim. So, of course that's Chunk's favorite. It's just called “the guitar song“ now and he likes to sing it while we're driving around, hanging out at the coffee shop, or running errands. I would lie to you and say it's cute, but really, it's just kind of creepy.

9 comments:

Sandy said...

Haha. Well, can't be any worse that Baybhead thinking everything that is laying down on the ground as dead. This is our fault as when he would throw a fit or fall we would make a big fuss and say, "OH NO! He's DEAD!"

He also has a few choice curse words he likes to pop out at unpredictable intervals...not sure where he got those from...

>;)

Steve said...

OMG, it's like the best thing ever. I spent hours learning to play Sweet Child of Mine on medium level. It nearly killed me. Now my five year old is playing Cherry Pie. (Well, he strums and I play.)

Onto GH: Best of the 80's.

How About Two? said...

Dude, GHII rocks. We have tournaments and everything. My theory on video games - they keep you young and in the future will help you connect with your teenage son.

Plus, there's nothing better than getting to pretend to be a rock star and your 2 year-old really thinks you are one.

How About Two? said...

For your rocking pleasure... http://prnewser.wordpress.com/2007/09/26/dude-guitar-hero-iii-totally-rocks/

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

please, oh please, do *not* tell my husband about that thing.

Sarah O. said...

Ooh, Guitar Hero is one of my faves! I only play it fully clothed in my red vinyl catsuit, though.

Why is it that kids always like the creepy stuff best? I did and so did my kids. Maybe I won't think about that any longer...

Dad Stuff said...

After your 'concerts' you can find a room to trash, just like a real rock star.

Denver Dad said...

Sandy... Curse words are okay, so long as he uses them in the right context. Chuck has started calling people "jack-ass," and while I have absolutely *no* idea where he got that from (yeah, right!), at least he's using it properly in sentences.

Steve... My guitar god status is, frankly, kind of shaky. Being new to the game/series, I started on the Easy mode and have since gone back and started up the "Phlem Jockeys" tour on Medium. It's a LOT tougher, but also a lot more fun.

Rob/How About Two?... Tournaments? Really? That's awesome! Well done! And, thanks for the link. As I posted on the blog you sent me to, I already have GHIII on preorder!

Aimee/Greeblemonkey... I make no promises. In other words, I'll be emailing your husband shortly. Please forgive me. :)

Sarah... A red vinyl catsuit? Wow... just wow. I should just hang up my plastic guitar now. There's no way I can top that.

Dad Stuff... The only problem with your plan is that *I* will have to clean up all the debris when I'm doing indulging in my rock 'n roll lifestyle. Chunk isn't very handy with a vacuum yet and usually steals all my groupies anyway. Darn, cute bugger!

p-man said...

I am commenting gratuitously on account of a new national holiday. We want photos!