Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Diplomatic Talks Have Broken Down

We have a new game. It seems simple enough, but by this time, it's starting to resemble international diplomacy talks with North Korea.

Chunk is in his highchair, a tray of food and drink before him, and I know we're in for it when grabs something without looking at it and keeps his eyes trained on me. Then, slowly, he stretches his arm over to the edge of the tray.

"Don't do it," I remind him.

He smiles. It's not a usual smile, full of cheer and happiness. No, this smile is a knowing, "Oh? You mean THIS piece of banana? Don't throw this piece of banana here? The one in my hand?" kind of look.

"Chunk, we do not throw food on the floor," I remind him again.

He withdraws the banana, then when I turn back to my own food, slowly inches it back toward the edge of the tray. He kind of dangles it over the edge, like he's just trying it out, testing the winds to make sure the banana will hit its intended target.

"Chunk! Do not throw food!" I scold.

His smile gets bigger and then the banana is airborne.

He claps, then makes his "ohhh!" face, and says, "Uh oh!"

"No, Chunk, you can't say "uh oh" when you do something on purpose," I tell him, bending over to pick up the banana. When I have retrieved the piece of fruit, I see that he has another in his hand.

Then, it all begins again, only this time he's already proven he has his nukes and isn't afraid to use them... and all of my troops are hung up in bathroom dealing with a post-shower mess and can't do anything about it.

He's eighteen months old today (and three hours) and like everything else in his eventful and exciting toddler life, such as teething, walking, swearing at neighbors, and so on, I think he's started the terrible twos early. The part that makes it difficult, aside from the temper tantrums, the throwing of toys, and the constant lectures of "no" from him is that I'm way to indulgent and he knows it. He knows that he can get away with anything if he just toddles over and gives me a hug.

So, yeah, it *is* just like diplomatic talks with North Korea. Who said kids can't teach us anything?


Genuine said...

Welcome to the negotiation stage of which you have no control.

And hello from another near Denver dad.

Denver Dad said...

As if I had control before now! Regardless, thanks for the invite into the negotiation stage. I suspect there will be a lot of bumpy roads from here on in.

Great blog, Genuine! If it's okay with you, I'll link to you in my "cool kids" list.