Sunday, June 11, 2006

Ah France, my arch-nemesis...


This isn't one of those oh-so-clever posts about French bravery or "freedom fries," oh-so-side-splittingly-funny in the red states and on talk radio. Given the situation in Iraq, it's really not very funny anymore anyway. No, this post is about what France is doing to me personally. Yeah, that's right, France... I hear you calling me out! What's that, France? What's that? You want me to bring it? Is that it? You think you can handle a little of the double deuce action of Denver Dad? Is that it? Huh? Huh? Is it?

Well... okay... the truth is, I got nothin'. Nothin' but bitterness and resentment for France.

Why all the hostility? Well, simply put, France is stealing my wife for two weeks. In just a month, Denver Mom will be flying off to France for a two week painting retreat. I should include some back-story here:

1. Denver Mom paints. She has for as long as I have known her, plus many more years. She's pretty good. I know you're thinking that's just me being biased, but she's won some awards and gotten into some fairly prestigious juried shows.

2. Denver Mom hasn't done a lot of painting since Chunk showed up, despite my pushing and prodding for her to escape off to the studio, while the little guy and I find things to do on our own.

3. One of her former professors called a few months ago and invited her to join some of her current students on this two week trip. They're going to spend one week in Paris, then another in Giverny (hanging out in Monet's gardens).

4. This trip is expensive. Very expensive. Like 72 boxes of diapers expensive, plus miscellaneous expenses.

5. Chunk and I are staying in Denver, because dangit, someone needs to water the plants!

Now, I want to be clear. I'm not looking forward to Denver Mom leaving Chunk and I all alone. But, I want to be equally clear that she both deserves and needs this trip. In the past few weeks, just getting ready, she's done more painting than she has in the past few years. Most of it has been watercolor sketches, which is what she'll be limited to while in France, but she's putting paint down on paper. This will be the trip of a lifetime for her and I'm glad she decided to go.

On the other hand, she'll be missed. She's Chunk's main attraction. The first person he wants to see in the morning is Momma. And the last person who gets to cuddle with him before he goes to sleep is, once again, Momma. I feel like I do my fair share around the house and I feel like I do my fair share when it comes to parenting, but at the same time I'd be lying if I said that Denver Mom wasn't doing the majority of the "heavy lifting" with our son.

Can I handle it? Of course I can. In some ways, I'm even looking forward to it, but it’s also a little intimidating. Chunk is a great kid, but we have our moments when we're both getting on each other’s nerves. Its always nice to have someone else that can step in and provide a much needed break. That opportunity for a break will be gone, so I expect a lot of frustrated tears.

What are Chunk and I going to do with our time? Well, probably a lot of what we do already. I'm going to take a little time off work and so Chunk and I will probably be spending some more time at the pool and nearby parks. I'm thinking we'll also take our first camping trip together. Any other suggestions? Leave me a comment and tell me what two strapping guys should do during their two weeks of bachelorhood.

(Picture inspired by the comic book image on Metro Dad's page.)

8 comments:

Genuine said...

Take in a Rockies Day game!

Wait a minute is that Costco brand boxes of diapers or Huggies?

Denver Dad said...

A Rockies Day game is a great idea! He probably wouldn't get much out of it, aside from whatever snacks I get him, but with enough sunscreen and patience, we could probably make it work. Excellent idea!

We get Pampers at Sam's Club. It's about $35 per box for Chunk's current size (it's either 4 or 5... I think 4).

Anonymous said...

Have you gone to the children's museum? Or the aquarium? My Denver toddler loves them both, and during the week they are less crowded. The diaromas (sp?) at the natural history museum are also a big hit. And the Apex Center is a great place for toddlers -- it has a shallow pool and great slides (just hold on tight to your son). Google apex center denver, I can't remember exactly where it is. I enjoy your denver-based blog -- congrats to your wife -- what an amazing trip!
-- denver mom of a denver kid
(I'm anonymous only b/c I'm not computer savvy enough to figure out the other options. Embarrassing!)

Mom101 said...

I say two weeks of Xbox and strippers.

No? Okay, how about the zoo?

(Meanwhile thanks for the nice comment at my place and for leaving the breadcrumbs back here. I need more crusaders for social justice in my world. In fact, you'd fit right in at our Thanksgiving table.)

Denver Dad said...

denver mom of a denver kid... Thanks for dropping in and sharing your ideas! The Children's Museum is a great suggestion and I just may try that, as we haven't visited that particular institution yet. The aquarium is also a good idea... we haven't been back since Chunk was a little guy. I suspect he'd get a lot more out of it now.

The Apex Center is our pool of choice! You're right... it is great and very toddler friendly!

Mom101... XBox and strippers, eh? I have to say, I like your thinking! Do most strip clubs have day care facilities on site? I can't say I've been to any, so that's really my only concern.

The Zoo is a great idea, though. Denver Mom just got us a membership, so not only is a fun way to spend an afternoon, it's already paid for!

And, you're welcome! There's a lot of opinionated people giving you advice on your blog. The trick is figuring out what works for you and your baby. Hopefully you can filter through it all and figure it out. Ultimately, YOU'RE the expert on your baby, so listen to you gut.

And... gosh! I'm invited for Thanksgiving?!? That's great!

Pickle's Papa said...

You gotta do the camping thing and give a complete breakdown of how it goes - what you need. We were big campers before The Pickle arrived, and I think my parent's horror stories have scared The Wife completely out of the concept.

I need information to plan the sale - Pickle's only 4 months so I'm sure there will be some variance, but we're all counting on you. . . good luck.

Pickle's Papa said...

Hey, I posted my previous comment before reading pretty much the entirety of your blog.

Wanted to let you know I am now a fan, and just pimped the hell out of you in my most recent post and put a hyperlink to your blog. Hope you dont mind. Not that I am anyone of relevance - just means my wife and my mom will now be reading you too.

p.s. I tried to comment on several of your older posts and it wouldn't go through. You may want to check your settings to see if you have something wierd going on.

Pickle's Papa

Denver Dad said...

Thanks! I wrote a post a while back about the pure evil that was taking a weekend trip with Chunk and Denver Mom, but didn't post it for fear of its insanity infecting the entire internet. Needless to say, the biggest issue was Chunk not being able to settle down and sleep with us in the same room with him. So, I suspect that'll be an issue when we go camping too, but I'd like to try it. I think he'll really like it.

I just checked out your blog, Pickle's Papa! Thank you for the kind words! I really appreciate that.